How to Know When Your Client Needs Therapy, Not Coaching.

Coaching can be powerful. But it’s not magic. And it’s definitely not therapy.

One of the most important skills a good coach can develop is knowing when not to coach.

Because sometimes the most ethical thing you can do for a client is say:

“This isn’t something coaching can safely support right now.”

Let’s talk about how to recognise those moments, without panic, ego, or pretending you can handle everything.

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First, Let’s Be Clear About Roles

Coaching is about:

• Direction

• Behaviour change

• Accountability

• Moving forward

Therapy is about:

• Mental health

• Trauma

• Diagnosis

• Healing and stabilisation

Good coaching happens after someone is resourced enough to take action. Therapy often helps people become resourced.

They are different tools. Neither is “better”.They just do different jobs.

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The Biggest Red Flag: When Forward Motion Isn’t Possible

If every session circles the same pain with no movement… pause.

Coaching works when clients can:

• Reflect without becoming overwhelmed

• Sit with discomfort without shutting down

• Make small changes between sessions

If instead you’re seeing:

• Emotional flooding

• Dissociation or shutdown

• Repeated crises

• Inability to regulate after sessions

That’s not resistance.That’s a nervous system asking for safety first.

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Signs Your Client May Need Therapy Instead

Here are some common indicators, not diagnoses, that therapy may be the more appropriate support right now.

1. Sessions Are Dominated by Trauma Processing

If your client is repeatedly unpacking:

• Childhood trauma

• Abuse

• Grief

• PTSD-type experiences

…and coaching tools aren’t helping them stabilise, you’re drifting into therapy territory.

That’s not your lane. And that’s okay. Refer them to accredited therapeutic care.

2. The Client Is Seeking Relief, Not Direction

Listen closely to what they’re asking for.

If the underlying need is:

• “I need this pain to stop”

• “I don’t feel safe in my own head”

• “I’m barely coping”

That’s not a coaching goal.That’s a support need.

3. Progress Triggers Distress, Not Growth

Coaching often involves discomfort, but it shouldn’t consistently destabilise someone.

If goal setting, accountability, or reflection:

• Increases anxiety significantly

• Leads to emotional crashes

• Makes things worse between sessions

That’s a signal to slow down or step aside.

4. You’re Starting to Feel Like the Therapist

Pay attention to your experience too.

If you notice:

• You’re holding heavy emotional material session after session

• You feel responsible for their safety

• You’re unsure how to respond without “treating” something

That’s your cue.

Good coaches don’t power through uncertainty, they pause and reassess.

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What NOT to Do (Even If You Care)

When you realise a client may need therapy, avoid:

• “I can handle this” thinking

• Over-coaching to compensate

• Downplaying seriousness to keep the client

• Trying to fix things faster

Your role isn’t to save people. It’s to support them responsibly.

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How to Have the Conversation (Without Freaking Anyone Out)

You don’t need clinical language.You don’t need to diagnose.You do need honesty and care.

Try something like:

“I want to check in. Some of what you’re working through feels like it might benefit from therapeutic support alongside or instead of coaching. Coaching can help with direction, but this deserves a space focused on safety and healing.”

That’s respect. Not rejection.

Referring Isn’t Failure, It’s Competence

Here’s a truth that doesn’t get said enough:

Knowing when to refer out makes you a better coach, not a weaker one.

Clients remember:

• Who respected their wellbeing

• Who didn’t overstep

• Who put ethics before ego

And often?They come back later, more resourced, more ready, and deeply trusting you.

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Can Coaching and Therapy Work Together?

Absolutely! when done properly.

Many clients benefit from:

• Therapy for healing and regulation

• Coaching for structure and forward momentum

But that only works when:

• Roles are clear

• Scope is respected

• Coaches stay coaches

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Where Proach Stands on This

At Proach, we don’t believe:

• Coaches should replace therapists

• Accountability fixes everything

• Growth should come at the cost of safety

We believe:

• Good coaching requires boundaries

• Referrals are part of ethical practice

• Supporting humans means knowing your limits

Because real growth doesn’t come from doing everything, it comes from doing the right thing.

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Final Thought for Coaches

If you ever find yourself thinking:

“I’m not sure coaching is the right tool here…”

Trust that instinct.

It’s not doubt.It’s professionalism.

And it’s one of the clearest signs you take this work seriously.

Tom working on the proach coach website.